I’ve thought why life’s like this,
Full of tremor, full of bliss,
But mine’s always like a crisis,
Obstacles show up, opportunities I miss.
I can’t stand this anymore!
Why I need to stop and can’t have more?
I know there’s something I’m living for,
But I can’t see that open door.
This pain in my heart I want to show,
Like a trapped noise, like a foe,
Anger bursts out, starts to grow,
O this life, forever stuck in the snow.
No one hears, no one listens,
My heart feels, that’s the evidence,
Still wishing it’s not just an occurrence,
But a lesson Father wants me to experience.
I wrote this poem and published it on my first blog last January 28, 2009, back when I was still in high school.
I really can’t remember the reason why I came up with this, but the underlying message still hits me like a lightning.
Trapped Noise We Need to Hear Now
As someone who occasionally battles with thoughts related to depression and anxiety, I still sometimes feel all doors are closed, I’m abandoned, all hope is lost, and death comes closer.
We suddenly feel there’s nothing certain in this life, right?
I’m not in your place to know what you’re going through, but here’s the trapped noise I heard that made me certain in life: salvation from our sins and struggles is here.
We have a Father in Heaven who doesn’t just watch us die painfully to pay for our sins and mistakes, but He’s the Father who also made a way for us to live, which is too costly for Him.
Imagine a Father who willingly gave His only Son, Jesus Christ, to carry our sins and burdens, die in our place on the cross, and conquer death and its sting through His resurrection.
He couldn’t have done that. No way. That would be a really painful process, but that’s the only way for us to have life and have hope in this life.
And this what we call real love.
Now, knowing the true cost of our sins and mistakes, what should be our response?
With a humble and grateful heart, we must turn away from our mistakes and sinful desires and surrender our whole lives to Him (not partial) so that He would be in total control. This is really difficult, but it’s the only thing we can do.
Only through this will He be able to change our hearts, minds, and souls to be like Him. Part of this transformation includes giving us hope, authority, and power to win over our struggles such as depression, anxiety, disappointment, worthlessness, and hopelessness.
Here’s what I want you to remember:
Our Father never left us, but we’re the ones who walked away.
In fact, He’s just waiting for us to turn back to Him.