October 28 to November 3, 2018 became a major turning point of my life. I joined the Living Waters Leadership Training 2018 (LWLT 2018) because I wanted to learn how to share and start the healing process in our church and community.
I decided that for the month of November, I’ll be writing about my experiences and reflections during that week. I’ll borrow the term “No Shame November” from my friend (hi, Kuya Jo!).
Start the Healing Process From the Unknown
But before diving into the deep, maybe by intentional coincidence, I discovered this random reflection I wrote almost eight years ago, and I think it makes a good starting point for the healing process.
November 24, 2010:
This week should most likely turn out into a heap of good stuff and blessings, but I feel the opposite.
Cursed. Rejected. Mistrusted. There is a gamut of words to describe what I feel.
I feel despondent. It is just normal, but I know that I should not be petulant. I must act my age.
Things go as planned, and the Lord’s plan is inevitable. All I can do is to plan how to respond to His plan.
And that was my mistake.
I forgot or even felt reluctant about life’s challenges. I became and become Ms. Complacency.
I need to fight. I know I dabbled and I am sorry for it. I became insipid. I must compensate for my shortcomings, even though I feel lethargic.
All of these things, I give up in the Hands of the Father who is in control of everything. I just need to trade these things, for the joy of the Lord. “I am pressed, but not crushed, persecuted, not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed.” I know I am not defeated, because I am in the Father, and the Father never gets defeated.
I just need the chance to rise up, and say “Yes, Lord!”
Ask the Right Questions
I named this post “Trading My Sorrows”, and I can’t remember the exact reason. Again now, I ask, why did I write this? Remembering my one-week retreat, I can now confidently give possible reasons.
But this post won’t end here. We won’t focus on the whys for now (we’ll be tackling them in the coming weeks), but I want to shed light on the last line: I just need the chance to rise up, and say “Yes, Lord!”.
Thus, the right question to ask now is when.
Allow God to Heal You
The last line slapped me. To be honest, I realized that it took eight long years (or eight years of denial) before I truly traded my sorrows and said “Yes, Lord!”.
And I want to correct the last line, where I put a prerequisite of finding the chance to rise up. To start the healing process, it’s not rising up first and saying yes to God.
Instead, it’s saying yes to God first, then allowing Him to raise us up.
Sadly, I believed the former, and I never healed from my own pains. I kept trying in futility to rise up on my own rather than being raised up by the Lord. I continued striving hard, believing that my good works and achievements can heal myself.
However, we can never heal ourselves. We all need a Healer, who is Jesus. In reality, it’s a good practice not to self-medicate before showing up to a doctor. Instead, we seek help amidst our pain so that we can fully experience healing.
And this is what Jesus offers us right now, but we keep on rejecting His gift. We feel deep shame and hide our dark places because we mistakenly fear He will condemn us.
Use the Gift of Freewill and Grace to Bring Healing
God doesn’t and will never force us to say yes to Him. However, the longer we delay saying yes, the longer we will drown in our pain and brokenness.
It’s similar to a doctor offering his patient a free, but painful surgery. We don’t want to feel pain during the process, but facing pain is the only way to experience significant healing.
Before I end, or should I say, before we start, I just want to ask you:
When will you say, “Yes, Lord!” and allow God to heal the deepest wounds and parts of your life?
Start the healing process, ask the right questions, allow God to heal you, and use His gift of freewill and grace to bring healing not only in your life, but to the people around you.
What areas in your life do you think that need healing? Are you ready to receive healing now?
I love you to share your comments on the section below, and if you think of someone who needs healing, please share this post to extend the gift. 🙂